stopping time ◑ tunnel vision

allowing memories to become more rich and colorful in my mind

This morning I was holding Juni in my arms, rocking her in the fuzzy white chair my cousin Angela got us for our baby shower. I could feel the warmth of her little body resting on my chest. I was admiring her tiny nose, the slow rhythm of her binki, her chunky cute cheeks. and then time stopped.

in that moment, it was just her and me. breathing together. nothing else existed.

I STOPPED TIME!!!

it felt like magic. my phone was in another room. my mind wasn’t wandering. nothing was pulling at me. I had tunnel vision. no other thoughts could seep in. I was completely gone, in time, in space, in what we’ve been calling the Juniverse.

Meditate….Be present…..Focus….we hear these things all the time.

But turns out…TO FOCUS is a modern day SUPERPOWER.

who wouldn’t want access to a full noise and thought canceling lever in today’s world? it sounds so simple…like something we all know exists but can’t quite access as often and as repetitively throughout our days.

don’t even get me started about Juni going into her own tunnel vision of focus… (every day this girl is my guru).

lets engineer this a bit. presence is focus.
and focus is getting harder to access, not easier.

I don’t have to get into the distractions of daily life, tragedies, screens, etc.

But what I do have to get into….are stringing moments of pause and tunnel vision together.

Protective tunnels of awe.

Protective moments of dedication.

what if presence is less about eliminating distraction and more about building something stronger than it?

little containers of time where nothing gets in unless you let it.

and this is where boundaries come in.

Boundaries are not only set with other people, they are also set with your time.

Boundaries you communicate and maintain can protect you both physically and psychologically. They can safeguard your time and energy.

they are about choosing, over and over again, what gets access to you.

they are about your attention.

your phone. your thoughts. your habits. your impulses to check, scroll, respond, fix, anticipate.

every time you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to something else.

so maybe presence is not some abstract state we are chasing.

maybe it is the result of micro boundaries.

moment by moment decisions that say: not now. this matters more.

this breath. this baby. this quiet.

these are the moments I’ll look back on with longing.

So to protect them…first I’ll make sure they’re happening, consistently.

And second, I’ll notice the finest details. So much so they become imprints. Therefore the memories become rich and solid and colorful in my mind, making it possible to look back on with a big smile and no regrets.