I love books that expand my mind, share magic, and inspire me to live closer to my truth and the natural world.

Here are a few books that have shaped me, and I hope you enjoy!

(I love to use ThriftBooks or Bookshop.org)

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Becoming Supernatural — Dr. Joe Dispenza

A blueprint for conscious creation. This book bridges neuroscience and mysticism, showing how thought, emotion, and intention can literally reshape the body and the life. It asks: Who are you beyond habit? Beyond the past?

Gift this when: someone is ready to step into their agency—and take their power seriously.
Pairs well with: a meditation cushion or a blank notebook.

The Energy Cure — William Bengston

A fascinating exploration of hands-off healing that doesn’t ask you to believe—only to be curious. Backed by research and experimentation, this book gently dismantles what we think we know about the limits of healing.

Gift this when: your favorite skeptic is secretly open.
Pairs well with: long conversations and raised eyebrows.

The Celestine Prophecy — James Redfield

A spiritual classic disguised as a novel. This is the book that makes you start noticing coincidences, chance meetings, and the quiet intelligence moving beneath your everyday life.

Gift this when: someone is at a crossroads, or when life starts feeling a little too orchestrated to ignore.
Pairs well with: travel, transitions, and trust.

By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept — Paulo Coelho

A soft, aching meditation on love as a spiritual path. This story honors devotion, longing, and the holy vulnerability of choosing love even when it breaks you open.

Gift this when: someone is healing their heart, or learning to let love be sacred again.
Pairs well with: candlelight and tears.

The Pilgrimage — Paulo Coelho

Part memoir, part initiation. Walking the Camino de Santiago becomes a living metaphor for discipline, humility, and the lessons that only appear once you commit to the path.

Gift this when: someone is walking toward something unknown.
Pairs well with: boots, blisters, and faith.

Signs: The Secret Language of the Universe — Laura Lynne Jackson

A gentle, validating guide to recognizing signs from loved ones, guides, and the universe itself. This book reassures readers that their intuitive experiences aren’t imagined, they’re remembered.

Gift this when: someone feels guided but hasn’t named it yet.
Pairs well with: feathers, repeating numbers, and knowing smiles.

The Signs: The New Science of How to Trust Your Instincts — Dr. Laura McClatchy

A modern, science-forward look at intuition. How the body and nervous system process information faster than conscious thought. This book grounds instinct in biology, making intuition feel less mystical and more inevitable.

Gift this when: someone is learning to trust themselves again.
Pairs well with: big decisions and quiet confidence.

The Serviceberry: Abundance and Reciprocity in the Natural World — Robin Wall Kimmerer

A grounding, generous book about enoughness. Through Indigenous wisdom and ecological insight, Kimmerer invites us into a worldview where abundance is shared, gifts circulate, and gratitude becomes a way of living.

This book feels like sitting on the land and remembering you belong to it.

Gift this when: someone is reimagining work, money, motherhood, community, or pace.
Pairs well with: walking slowly and giving back.

in that moment, it was just her and me. breathing together. nothing else existed.

I STOPPED TIME!!!

it felt like magic. my phone was in another room. my mind wasn’t wandering. nothing was pulling at me. I had tunnel vision. no other thoughts could seep in. I was completely gone, in time, in space, in what we’ve been calling the Juniverse.

Meditate….Be present…..Focus….we hear these things all the time.

But turns out…TO FOCUS is a modern day SUPERPOWER.

who wouldn’t want access to a full noise and thought canceling lever in today’s world? it sounds so simple…like something we all know exists but can’t quite access as often and as repetitively throughout our days.

don’t even get me started about Juni going into her own tunnel vision of focus… (every day this girl is my guru).

lets engineer this a bit. presence is focus.
and focus is getting harder to access, not easier.

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I don’t have to get into the distractions of daily life, tragedies, screens, etc.

But what I do have to get into….are stringing moments of pause and tunnel vision together.

Protective tunnels of awe.

Protective moments of dedication.

what if presence is less about eliminating distraction and more about building something stronger than it?

little containers of time where nothing gets in unless you let it.

and this is where boundaries come in.

Boundaries are not only set with other people, they are also set with your time.

Boundaries you communicate and maintain can protect you both physically and psychologically. They can safeguard your time and energy.

they are about choosing, over and over again, what gets access to you.

they are about your attention.

your phone. your thoughts. your habits. your impulses to check, scroll, respond, fix, anticipate.

every time you say yes to one thing, you are saying no to something else.

so maybe presence is not some abstract state we are chasing.

maybe it is the result of micro boundaries.

moment by moment decisions that say: not now. this matters more.

this breath. this baby. this quiet.

these are the moments I’ll look back on with longing.

So to protect them…first I’ll make sure they’re happening, consistently.

And second, I’ll notice the finest details. So much so they become imprints. Therefore the memories become rich and solid and colorful in my mind, making it possible to look back on with a big smile and no regrets.

Mostly from ages 12-21. Soccer soccer soccer…. didn’t you just take up most of my time back then? From school, club, college…I officially practiced soccer more than anything in my life.

But these words “sorry, I can’t - I have practice” I have not once said in my adult life. Because in adult life, practice seems to be more abstract, more personal, or easily moved around or deprioritized. My practices today also tend to be more mundane, meditation, yoga, etc. and I mostly label them rituals, versus practices.

If i’m making art, journaling, reading, hiking, etc - I don’t label it as practice. I just do it.

But lately I’m starting to feel like I should. Why do we call something a practice anyway?

Practice definition: (v) perform (an activity) or exercise (a skill) repeatedly or regularly in order to improve or maintain one’s proficiency.

But there’s a big obstacle that blocks us in adult life…

My good friend Cami recently created a reel about the “cringe mountain” that really resonated with me. (Link here to watch)

She talks about how, when we try something new, we have to climb a mountain of being seen in a new way — practicing, failing, being on display — and how it’s not an easy climb. Usually, once you reach the top of the mountain, that’s where people stop. It becomes too uncomfortable. Your nervous system is screaming, and those shadowy thoughts of self-doubt creep in and block the path to the other side. I can certainly think of a few times I didn’t make it over the cringe mountain (and I still kind of cringe thinking about it, haha!).

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As we get older, there’s less and less space to “try new things.”

People have full-time jobs, families, four-month sleep regressions (hello, hi — me), and the chaos and stress of everyday life that society has so lovingly built for us.

Trying new things as a child, a teen, a young adult? Why not! Everyone’s doing it. You’re not alone in your pursuits, and there’s so much time to fail and try again. You’re usually just beginning your relationship with freedom — of time, of choice, of what’s possible.

But when you’re older, you feel a little more… alone.
A little more… on display.

Choosing to be a beginner again takes courage! And it can be uncomfortable. In fact, if it’s not awkward and slightly painful… are you really growing?

Sometimes we’re drawn to new things that feel natural, things we can build from. But if you’re a ballerina who secretly dreams of becoming a Muay Thai pro, there’s probably a pretty steep cringe mountain you’ll need to climb.

But if you never try, you’ll never know. So why not try?

With the help of Cami’s video, and witnessing others with deep, dedicated hobbies - I realized the only way through the cringe wasn’t confidence. It was commitment.

Lately, on my Substack journey, I’ve been inspired to work from a place of practice versus performance. I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember, but sharing my work was never the focus. Recently, I decided to start posting consistently in this space, as I climb my own cringe mountain.

My beautifully creative friend Rebecca recently recommended a book to me: Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg.

The book is a classic, widely taught guide that frames writing as a practice of presence, encouraging writers to trust their voice, quiet the inner critic, and keep the pen moving. In it, Natalie invites you to treat writing as a practice, not a performance.

Reading this book feels like permission to be messy, to strengthen the muscle of being seen, and to keep going without overthinking it.

I love this idea: practice versus performance. You have to practice anything to get better: sports, a new language, cooking, to name a few.

And calling something a practice, like a yoga practice or a meditation practice, feels more inviting than dutiful.

I’m not saying I’m a good writer, I just like to write. So I’ve decided to commit to a writing practice. And it just so happens to coincide with the beginning of the year, which makes it easier to show up, track progress, and keep going.

The more of us who try new things and aren’t afraid to fail, the less awkward it will feel. Let’s continue to lift each other up, supporting one another as we move closer to what lights us up while here on this earth.

At least if I stay with writing long enough, it’s bound to get better.

And maybe that’s true for whatever you’re practicing, too.

Across traditions, the shared belief isn’t: “Everything is predetermined.”
It’s: “Nothing is meaningless.”

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This has always spoken to me.

Seeing a book, article, or quote that perfectly answers a question you’ve been pondering.

A conversation that lands at exactly the right moment.

Finding a coin in your pocket just when you need it.

A phone call from the person you were just thinking about.

Life isn’t something that happens to us.
It’s something we’re constantly in conversation with.

And participation matters.

We have to remember: we are all messengers.

We’re not just the main characters in our own stories.
We’re guides, messengers, and mirrors in other people’s lives too.

If a podcast reminds you of a friend — send it.
If you feel magnetized toward a hobby, a building, a class, a person — follow the nudge. Follow the pull.
If you dream of someone, tell them.
If you feel called to chat with a stranger — say hello. Don’t let shyness get in the way of connection.

Life moves when we respond.
Not participating can interrupt the flow.

Serendipity (noun):
The occurrence of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way—often involving an unexpected discovery while looking for something else.

Serendipity is collaborative.
It’s noticing the small things.
It’s listening to your intuition.
It’s flow.
It’s trust.

But most importantly, its connection!

Two books helped shape this understanding for me: The Alchemist and The Celestine Prophecy. Both are technically fiction, yet both point to a deeply non-fiction truth—that life supports us when we listen, that nothing is random, and that our participation matters more than we think.

Some context across traditions:

Judaism
There’s a common saying: “There is no coincidence, only God’s providence.” Events are seen as divinely orchestrated, even if their meaning isn’t immediately clear.

Islam
The concept of Qadar (divine decree) suggests everything happens by God’s will. What looks like coincidence is actually part of a larger, unseen design.

Hinduism
Events are understood through karma and dharma—cause and effect across lifetimes. Nothing is random; everything is connected through past action and soul lessons.

Buddhism
While not framed as divine, Buddhism rejects randomness through dependent origination—everything arises because of conditions. Coincidence is simply complexity we don’t yet understand.

Indigenous & animist traditions
Many view life as relational and symbolic. Animals, dreams, meetings, and timing are messages. Ignoring them is seen as being out of alignment with the natural order.

Not said the thing.
Not applied.
Not shared.
Not offered a very real part of you.

Because you got paralyzed.

I know I have…

Just last week, I wrote a very personal Substack.

I reworked it. And reworked it again.
It felt good to write — the words were flowing out of me.

Then it came time to post.

I hovered over the button, reread it one more time, and felt that familiar tightening in my chest.

Is this too much?
Will people misunderstand me?
Does this actually matter?

So I closed my laptop and told myself I’d come back to it later.

Which, historically, is how things quietly die.

Paralyzed.

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I’ve found personally, and while talking with friends, that this is — hands down — the most common block we experience as humans when we try to express ourselves, share our work, or simply be ourselves in a more public way.

And I want to question it. Deeply.

Why the fuck do we care what other people think?
Why do we let it run our lives?
Why do we let it stop us from doing what we want to do?

We have this one sweet life.

Oh right… because sharing isn’t as intimate as it once was.

We were evolutionarily designed to live in small villages. Tight-knit communities. Real support systems. Back then, “what people think” meant the 30–50 humans you depended on to literally stay alive. Belonging wasn’t about ego — it was about survival.

Now?

“Community” can mean hundreds. Thousands. Sometimes millions.
Strangers watching, judging, scrolling.

Our nervous systems haven’t caught up.
So of course it feels terrifying.

We all have that friend who wants to start the business.
Share the art.
Say the thing.

But what stops them?

Will they think I’m cringe?
What if it’s not good enough?
Am I even qualified?

Ew.

Here’s my take: we’re all going to die. You are only going to be in THIS UNIQUE body once. You will only be at your current age, in your current health…in your current circumstances…once.

Are you really going to look back and realize you held yourself back because you imagined that Tammy from high school — who’s currently sitting on her couch doing absolutely nothing with her life — might be judging you?

…not good enough.

I love what Brené Brown says:

“If you’re not in the arena getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.”

And now… I have a daughter as a witness.

She sees my choices. My hesitations. My courage.

What am I going to tell her as she grows up?

Express yourself.
Be yourself.
Don’t let anyone dim your light or stop you from going after what you want.

And if I’m going to hype her up like that, then it’s time to get off my own bullshit and live it.

Because here’s the deeper truth:

When you don’t share your words, your art, your ideas, your gifts —
it’s not just about you.

You never know who you could be uplifting.
Who needs your words to feel less alone.
Who needs to see someone else be brave so they remember they’re allowed to be brave too.

Expression isn’t self-indulgent.
It’s connective.

I love to write.
I love to share stories, lessons, synchronicities, and the quiet magic woven through everyday life.
I love guiding people back to themselves — to clarity, creativity, courage, and the aligned life they know they’re meant for.

And I’m done letting these silly little blocks get in my way — and in the way of the people I love most — from sharing their gifts with the world.

So here’s a practice I return to whenever insecurity creeps in:

I write a letter to myself from 85-year-old me.

I imagine what Grandma Amber would say to mid-30s Amber right now.

She’s lived a full life. She’s survived heartbreaks, risks, embarrassments, and regrets. She has zero patience for nonsense and absolutely no interest in playing small.

So I let her talk.

She writes to me about:

• what I’m afraid to share

• where I’m censoring myself

• who I’m worried about upsetting

• what I’ll regret not trying

Sometimes she’s gentle…Sometimes she swears…but she’s always clear.

She reminds me that life is my playground. Life is what I decide to make it. Life is for helping others, for connecting and preserving the nature that keeps us alive. She keeps things in perspective and reminds me to love deeply. Be present. She always reminds me of how fast it goes. How nothing lasts forever. How lucky I am. She tells me to live from a place of love, and not fear.

Future-me isn’t worried about being cringe.

She’s worried about me not trying. She’s worried about looking back at her life with regret.

And then! Moving forward usually seems a lot less daunting..a lot less significant. Almost too simple.

If you’re ever feeling this way…what does your inner grandma — or grandpa — want you to know now!??!?!??! They’re wise :)

I am writing this quickly as Juni is napping :) It’s a cold day here in Vermont. I’ve found this cozy season perfect for writing, cooking, and organizing my art supplies.

I send out this template every year in hopes of inspiring you to take a few moments by yourself, or with your partner, to reflect on the year we are wrapping up, and get excited for 2026.

Side note: Since last year sold out (!!!) I’ll be offering 2026 Vision + Hypnosis Sessions, where you’ll get a personalized hypnosis track to supercharge your 2026 goals. I loved witnessing your dreams come to life! Here’s a link to learn more.

As you may have heard, 2025 was the year of the Wood Snake re: the Chinese lunar calendar and the 12-animal zodiac cycle. Here’s a little summary to get you up to speed. (S/O to my favorite astrology friend Eric, from the Unlock Method for educating me on these themes!)

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2025 · Wood Snake Year

A year of clarity, shedding old layers, and trusting your inner wisdom. Snake energy helps you release what no longer fits so you can move forward with more authenticity. The Wood element adds growth, creativity, and fresh vision—a year of quiet but powerful transformation.

2026 · Fire Horse Year

A bold, fast-moving year of momentum, passion, and courage. Fire Horse energy invites freedom, big dreams, and decisive action. It’s the year to run toward what you want, break old patterns, and let your inner fire lead the way.

Now with that in mind….Here are your prompts!

2025 Reflection

• Pick one word to describe your theme of 2025

• Make a list of what you are most proud of

• What was a lesson(s) you learned this year?

• What is one thing you want to leave in the past?

Creating your Vision for 2026

• What are your top priorities for 2026?

• Describe how you want this year to feel?

• List 3 small action items that will help you feel supported while working towards your vision for this year

• Pick one word to describe your theme of 2025

If you are in a relationship:

• What was one of your favorite memories this year as a couple?

• What is something you are proud of that you got through as a couple this year?

• What is something you learned about your relationship this year?

• What is your vision for your relationship in 2026

• How can you best support your partner and their goals in 2026?

• What are some things you want to improve in your relationship in 2026?

• What are some of your couple goals for this year? (travel, finance, family plans, etc)

I also love creating a Pinterest board for each year. I don’t overthink it—it’s more like letting my intuition gather whatever images, colors, moods, or ideas feel alive for me. Somehow, those little nuggets end up becoming a mirror of the energy I want to embody in the year ahead.

I’d love to hear from you, too. What theme words are calling you for 2026? What goals or shifts are you excited to step into?

You have a family that needs you, a phone that won’t stop buzzing, headphones in at the gym or on a walk, a friend you call on your commute—and when you’re finally alone, you scroll. Maybe you meditate… but we know that isn’t for everyone.

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But I’m here to remind you of something important—something that will help you gain the deepest confidence in this lifetime, and hopefully inspire you to carve out time for yourself.

This morning at the coffee shop, I was chatting with a friend about how grateful we are for the people in our lives who take their personal growth and little serendipities seriously. Because at the end of the day, we really do need each other—people who remind us of what matters, people who nudge us toward our highest potential.

The friend who shares a dream they had about you.

The one who sends you a book or podcast because it made them think of you.
The friend who invites you to an event they know you’ll love.
The one who gently holds you accountable for a goal you shared.
The one who reminds you of your strengths when you forget them.

We are constantly inspiring, guiding, and pulling each other closer to who we’re meant to be.

While our community helps guide us, the most powerful work begins within. Sure, not everyone is a “self-improvement junkie,” but it’s so much more than striving to be the best.

The more you get to know yourself, the clearer your preferences become—what you want, what you don’t want, and what truly nourishes you. This is where purpose, clarity, and confidence start to grow.

It’s about showing up for the world the way you were meant to. It’s about playing your part in the larger story we’re all living together—your role in the bigger movie we’re all acting in.

And the more you commit to this journey of self-inquiry, the more self-assured you become.

This deeper knowing creates a natural confidence—confidence in who you are, what you stand for, and how you want to move through the world.

Confident people are simply self-aware. They’ve learned to seek clarity, honor it, and take aligned action. Confident people become magnets for what they want.

This is how an intentional life is created—one designed around your unique desires, values, and gifts.

Some might think this is a luxury, or even a selfish way of being…
What are you doing, just sitting around meditating and journaling all day?!

So why is this so important?

Because what you discover along the way is that this is actually the least selfish thing you can do. We feel our best when we are of service to others—and we do that by living our purpose out loud. Everyone wants to feel helpful; this is how you provide real value to your community.

But self-inquiry takes time and effort. It doesn’t happen overnight.

And the journey is half the fun. There isn’t usually a straight line back to your purpose, so in the meantime you get to bounce off walls, meet new people, follow breadcrumbs, help others along their path—and that’s all part of the magic.

The goal is to equip yourself to show up outwardly in the way the world actually needs.

Because we need you.
We need you to show up as you were meant to—so we can witness your greatness, receive your gifts, and feel the ripple effect of you living in alignment.

This is how your life takes shape.

The more you get to know yourself, the more confident you become. And the more confident you are in your gifts, the more the world benefits.

Keep nudging your people towards their highest potential, we need you <3

Over time, I’ve found certain tools to be incredibly helpful in deepening self-awareness and confidence:

• To Be Magnetic Work – Practices that help you understand your energy, your desires, and how to show up in alignment with them.

• The Artist’s Way Morning Pages – Free-writing first thing in the morning to clear your mind, uncover hidden thoughts, and spark creativity.

• Journaling – Daily or weekly reflections to track patterns, insights, and breakthroughs.

• Year-End Reflection – Looking back on the past year to note what went well, recurring themes, and moments that felt meaningful.

• Paying Attention to “Pings” and Signs – Noticing feelings, coincidences, or opportunities that feel significant or meant for you, and exploring what they might be pointing toward. I write these in my notepad on my phone!

• Working with a coach! I started Align Wellness to help my clients elevate their life, love, and relationships to reach their highest potential. Accountability helps!

These tools aren’t just about productivity—they’re ways to tune in, notice yourself, and gently guide yourself toward what truly matters.

Tip: Experiment with different tools and see what resonates. Your self-inquiry practice should feel like a magnet, drawing you toward clarity and confidence, not a chore.

Be impeccable with your word.

Words hold immense power. They carry energy the moment they leave our mouths, and even more when they land in someone else’s heart.

The way we speak to ourselves becomes the blueprint for how we speak to others.

The way we speak to others shapes their tone in their next interaction.

Words can be uplifting. They can make you blush, smile, feel inspired, motivated, seen, or loved. They can support your best self and offer feedback that elevates rather than diminishes. They can share stories that create connection and honor the past. Words can express our truth—how we feel, what we need, who we are.

Words can be used for good.

But words can also be sharp. They can cut deep. They can make you cry, shrink, or question your worth. Gossip can spread like poison, carrying untrue rumors or careless remarks. Words can get thrown around without a single ounce of thought.

One person’s words can erase your belief in yourself. They can wipe out a moment of confidence, make you feel alone, and seep into your mind and subconscious…

Only if you allow them to.

Only if you believe them.

Only if you let someone outside of yourself define your truth.

So how do we decide what is true?

Does someone outside your mind, body, and soul really know you better?
Do you believe this person is somehow above you, and therefore must be right?
Do you automatically believe everything you hear?

And should we dismiss words just because they don’t feel good?

No.
We dismiss the way the words make us feel.
We return to our intention. Our truth.
We ask: Did this come from love?
We remember who we are, what we stand for, and the love we hold for ourselves.

We remember that everyone is hurting. Everyone feels pain. And pain is always looking for a way out—often through words, sharp and fast, sometimes unknowingly passed from one person to the next.

When we remember who we are and what we stand for, it becomes easier to see that these harsh words were never really meant for us. We don’t take them personally. We let them bounce off the bubble of love we’ve built around ourselves.

Reminder to self:
Be impeccable with your word.

Quotes from The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz

“The word is your power of creation, and that power can be used in more than one direction. One direction is impeccability, where the word creates a beautiful story—your personal heaven on earth. The other direction is misuse of the word, where the word destroys everything around you and creates your personal hell.”

“Impeccability of the word is so important because the word is you, the messenger. The word is all about the message you deliver, not just to everyone and everything around you, but the message you deliver to yourself.”

“Be impeccable with your word really means never use the power of the word against yourself. When you’re impeccable with your word, you never betray yourself. You never use the word to gossip about yourself or to spread emotional poison by gossiping about other people.”

Think about how a ray of sunshine can warm your heart on a winter day, similar to how a smile from a stranger can brighten a moment, and how kind eyes can put you at ease.

Now bring to mind a person you would describe as a “bright light.”

What makes them this way? Yung Pueblo describes this as the “undeniable radiance of someone who is not afraid to grow, be free, and thrive.”

You can FEEL someone who is radiant—someone who “lights up a room.” You can feel their energy, just like you can FEEL the sun warming your skin.

Now…bring your attention to your own radiance. Your own unique inner light that emits energy everywhere you go, influencing everyone around you.

The definition of radiance is: “to send out or spread from a central location.”

What we put out is often a reflection of what is happening inside. Our energy can inspire or drain others.

This does not mean life should be forced into perpetual optimism or “rainbows and sunshine.”

But we do have the ability to check in with ourselves and identify where we are struggling.

Pueblo writes, “One of the clearest signs of personal growth is greater self-love, self-awareness, and love for all people. Inner work is not meant to turn us into hermits or make us more self-centered. If we are really trying to grow our inner peace and wisdom, then our capacity for empathy and compassion for others will also grow.”

Since we are all connected by the same light…

Are you inspired to turn up your flame, to light the path for others? To emit warmth?

Radiance isn’t something we force. It’s something we uncover.

You can tend to your light by slowing down, checking in with yourself, and tending to what’s happening inside.
Our light naturally grows when we let ourselves rest, tell the truth, release what’s heavy, and return to what feels authentic.
And it grows when we allow our compassion — for ourselves and others — to lead the way.

Especially now — we’re engaged, we just had our first baby, and we’re actively saving for a house. There is a LOT of “future” happening in real time.

So having grounded, honest conversations about money has become a core part of staying connected as new parents.

Here are a few conversations my partner and I have found helpful around finances, plus 3 steps to align your financial goals as a couple (without wanting to crawl out of your skin).

A little context…

My partner and I have been talking a LOT about this next chapter.

We live together with our cat and our new baby girl, Juni. We share household finances, and with a newborn, wedding plans, and long-term decisions on the horizon…financial check-ins feel like emotional hygiene.

We know each other well, but it’s still important to slow down and ask the bigger questions:

• What are our hopes and dreams for the next few years as a family of three?

• Do we want the same things?

• What does “success” look like to each of us now that we’re parents?

• How do we want to structure our finances — combined, separate, hybrid?

• What does vacation look like with a baby?

• What kind of home are we saving for?

We carved out intentional time (usually during a nap window) to sit down together and talk through all of this — and yes, it was awkward at first.
But also… the woman sitting next to us at the café where we first had this conversation leaned over and applauded us for “doing such a good job” communicating.

(Honestly? It felt so nice to get third-party validation. A little gold star for emotional adulthood.)

Here are the 3 steps we used to get aligned about our financial wellness and future — plus the exact action items.

Step 1: Get clear on what abundance means to you

…and then compare it with your partner’s definition.

“Abundance” is one of those words that sounds universal but is incredibly personal.

For one person, abundance might look like buying something luxurious.
For another, it’s having spacious family time.
For someone else, it’s homeownership, a healthy savings account, or the ability to take spontaneous trips with the baby.

Since Juni arrived, our definition of abundance has shifted toward stability, ease, support, and a home base we truly love raising her in.

ACTION:

Write down 5 things that define an abundant life for you right now.

Examples:

1. Unlimited organic fruits + veggies.

2. Freedom to travel when we want (even with a baby!).

3. Quality time with family and friends.

4. Access to nature / a fire pit at home.

5. A home we can grow together in.

Once you each have your list — compare. You’ll learn so much.

Step 2: Talk honestly about your money beliefs

This is where things get interesting.

We don’t realize how much our upbringing shapes our relationship with money until we’re navigating life with a newborn, mortgage goals, and long-term plans with someone we love.

Think about:

• How did your family handle money?

• Was money stressed? Avoided? Comfortable?

• Did you grow up feeling like there was never enough, or like it would always be there?

• Do you naturally want to save everything, or spend on experiences?

And most importantly:
How do you want to handle money together as a new family?

What do you want to carry forward? What do you want to un-learn?

ACTION:

Dig into these. Notice where your beliefs came from, what needs updating, and where compassion is needed — for yourself and each other.

Step 3: Discuss how you’ll handle unexpected events

Babies, homes, careers, and family obligations come with unpredictable chapters.
Things will happen — layoffs, medical expenses, family needs, changes in income, burnout seasons, you name it.

Talk about:

• What if one of us gets laid off?

• What if a family member asks for money?

• How do we bring up concerns if one of us feels the other isn’t “pulling their weight”?

• How do we keep resentment out of the equation as we navigate parenthood?

ACTION:

Define what a “fair contribution” looks like right now — not forever, just in this current season with a newborn.
Create a loose plan for unexpected events.
Even something like: “If anything big comes up, we’ll talk about it before deciding.”

This alone relieves so much pressure.

Resources we love

The Netflix series “How To Get Rich” with Ramit Sethi has been such a grounding resource for us.
I read his book last year, and I recently bought the journal that goes with it.
The show follows real couples working through the same insecurities and communication challenges we all face.